my brain is like focal point for the universes wired ideas.Its like all the ideas channel themself into my brain and keep yelling to be done. The only thing is that a lot of things seem impossible. Not that I'm complaining, I wouldn't have it any other way. It the impossible that i like to do. Only wish i had more time and motivation to do them

can ham be overcooked?

i think i'll be electrocuting myself soon.
i forgot all the electrical stuff i learnt

Reading... its good for you

I GOT THE NEW PRATCHETT BOOK!!!
May be MIA for a while

bye

my precious....

Laggggg

Apparently i been AFK for too long.
After some prompting from Ellen I kinda remembered that i should be updating this blog of mine.
Kinda figure i should make some changes to the reason for the blog.
Originally its supposed to be like my online portfolio (like my bro's, its imbal) but my projects take too long to do and i dont have time to update when I'm actually doing them so.... yeah....
Been focusing more on my lj, somehow its more userfriendly with the like can see everyone's from one page (except their spell check is annoying)
Now i figure that this will be just more bout my life, kinda was in the first place.
Heres to hoping i update more

i is liking my new logitech headphones. Now i understand the need for good sound quality. So good it bleeds from your ear

Plans

Plans for my birthday

• Go shopping for clothes (I missed the whole GSS T.T)
• Splurge buying cheese (any recommendations pls say *looks at lindis and gwee*)
• Watch Starship troopers 3!!!
• Shopping for hobbies....i need my high
• NATAS fair? plan to go japan in jan!
  
• Not go work!
  

I hope i can do all this at least

If your buying me presents, think of clothes and like fashion

Malable

Is my personality that weak?
Do I change to suit the people around me?
Part of me is scared to say no because its worried about what others think.
Its scared that its judged by what it can bring to the table.
If I'm of no use will you still be my friend

why the heck do i feel so damn emo

its not over

My post seem to be inversely proportional to the projects i'm doing
No i'm not free, i got more stuff to do
Less talky more worky

I ISH MAKING PROPS TO REPRESENT SINGAPORE IN THE WORLD COSPLAY SUMMIT.
how cool is that

i have so much to write but i loose all motivation when i actually start typing

Its over!

OMG, I'm finally free!
Cosfest is over
Project finished post will come soon, be patient
I need to sleep

Havent eaten properly for 3 days, then suddenly i;m eating. I just may get gout or something

TOYS

I went to the Toy and Comic convention on Sunday and I now have a hole in my pocket.
But I not have a Cerberus replica! *laughs evilly* Aint it pretty. I'm still wondering if i should unbox it.





On another note, I found a comic shop that stocks the "Rising Stars" comic. Like BEST COMIC EVAR.

Cons are crowded stuffy jostling places of compressed happiness

Social Displacement

Its weird.
You want to fit in, but your not sure how.
People try to fit you in, but you run.
You want to change, but your not sure if you should.

Sometime you just feel socially displaced in a group and it sucks.
You wonder what your doing wrong.
You feel your friends are occupied and you dont want to disturb them
You wonder what the hell your doing there

It just sucks


OMG cosfest in one week! I NEED TO BE PAINTING

Worst day evar

Crater sucked.
May not get off before cosfest.
Came home to sucky food.
Mum got angry when i tried joking with her.
Life sucks.

Level Up

110608 xp gained!

LEVEL UP!

Expand "Crater Repair" skill tree?

You have learnt "Hot Asphalt"

Ability Info:
You are now able to use blazing hot black chemical rocks in crater repair.Hardens into a flat surface if cast effectively.
MP cost: High
Casting time: Long
Status induced: Poison by fumes & Melting footwear

yeah, i did my first hot asphalt today

Sick

Its was my off day yesterday and i got a fever...A FEVER.... its like the ultimate illness to report sick for, syn toms are constant and detectable, sure to get mc for it... and i get it on my off day... Gawds

so anyway, today was a mess of the cold, head rattling in my skull, and lethargy... lousy day

Portfolio

FINALLY!!!
My portfolio is up !
Ok less talky more pictures





















Obsession with death fiction

Hide and go seek

The point of hide and seek is to be found. Theres no point in being a perfect hider. It just spoils your fun. The seeker is not actually the role people actually want to have in the game, but seemingly, it is the most fun (and exasperating) at times. The only interaction is between the seeker and the people's that found. Other than that if you are hider, most of your game is spent alone in some dark corner. The better you are at that, the more alone you are. Simply put utilizing your skill requires you to be alone.

Socially, its similar to life. If your the best hider, you alone but what you produce is great. If your the best seeker, your art is in performance and people see you as you work. People see the whole time the person is seeking but the only see the time when the hider is found.

Food and glue on hands = poison

T-shirts

FINALLY!
I have sent my army team t-shirts for printing. Thats one thing off my to do list. I have burn so damn much time on doing those designs... i had better get some off days for all that work.

Its an asphalt dragon





On the plus side I now know Auntie Nelly better so hopefully i can start printing my own shirts now. Its strange, you can never find one that suits you perfectly, so the best is just to print your own.

The cool thing is that she made my bear poster (see below) into somewhat of a shirt. Thats quite cool. If anyone ever sees it help me get a pic of it.






One down, a bajillion more things to do

Torn

If u do something right for the wrong reason does it still mean the same thing?

If you help a person with external motivation
If your facade is good for fear of judgment
If you let people in so you don't feel lonely
If you really love someone to fill the hole in your life
If you believe in God for fear of eternal damnation

When is it still right and when does it become wrong?
If you can actually relate to this, how many people next to you are going through the same thoughts. Better yet, how many don't care.

Why is it only when I'm most busy my social life picks up

Heritage

Recently, well not recently, i went to the peranakan museum that just recently opened. The exhibits really blew my mind. The craftsmanship in those days really are on a different level. Its amazing what they could do in those days. I finally managed to get the pictures from my sister's camera so here they are.

These are window grills, carved like bamboo and seeming in-layed with like gold, or glitz at least




This is PART of a giant tapestry. See the workmanship? Now multiply that many many times. There are tons of these beaded work there.




These are my favorite. The jewelery in the day were really intricate and fine. They even did things like "bleach" gold in assam to make it red gold. Mel u would really love to see the jewelery there.(If your reading this its both extremely cool and scary)





The weird thing is that after i learnt about my heritage I'm really divided. I' raised in a environment that favors sleek and simple designs, but the peranakan designs seem really cool, even though their color schemes are extremely gaudy and neon. To be inspired by the different? To incorporate gaudy neon into sleek?

Random Thought: Why are our crafts dieing out in this age

Relativity

Time is relative. But what is it relative to. In my case it sees to be deadlines. There seems to be a compression and decompression of time when it draws closer to my deadlines, as I see the guillotines draw closer. Could procrastination and quantum be related? As one is far from the deadline less "timeblocks" are given to work and more to oh so joyous randomness. Then as the deadline draws near all life is dropped away for work. I ish going to be having no life T.T

The strange thing is that it seems that i still have time to spare, like sometimes i cannot figure out what i need to do at that moment and like end up doing random things. And it could be cumulative but when people ask me if i have time to do more projects i seem to think so, i hope i don't disappoint. And then the horror is that the projects all gang up on you and demand to be finished around the same times T.T

Random thought: Pls call me out when u don't see me for too long, i may have died in my room

Purge

Once again i have formatted my com. It contracted a virus due to my lack of anti virus software and kinda made everything super uber laggy, till the point i couldn't stand it. So basically i dragged my stuff onto my non-portable external hard drive ( my portable one is making clicking sounds and is due to be buried soon) and am in the mids of re-installing everything. The strange thing is that whenever i format my com it will seem to act differently, like some minor things just cant be the same no matter how much i try and change it. Its like the system locked me out for some reason.

But the feeling of a purged computer is nice (when the installation was not mood-ish). Everything run so smoothly. Its just something about perfection that draws people, be it in design or otherwise. Ironically this is the very thing that can hinder progress. To want to make each detail a prefect piece in the ever evolving puzzle. My blog for example. Many a times i wanted to wipe a clean to have it 'perfect' but that in itself would never let it actually become a blog because it would permanently be in a stage of infancy. Sometime you just got to appreciate the perfection in imperfection.

Random thoughts (theres a few cause i was away for a while)
"Old chiang kee is now so damn expensive"
"Mifune from Soul Eater is damn cool, i wanna figurine of him!"
"After 2 cups of alcohol i tend to get a bit high"
"I miss having Andrea around"
"Building a good Gundam Figurine is much harder that expected"

Craving

I'm like so pregnant. In the past week or so I have been getting weird cravings for food. Its like i can taste it but yet its not complete. In the past weekend i have like finished a 6 pack of melon flavored vitasoy. Its odd. The entire craving boils down to the first sip. In the first sip the cool liquid hits your tongue and like the craving is so worth is. The as it progresses its seems to loose its "power". The craving makes it taste extra special but its seems to never be able to be fully satisfied.

Is it because we just seem to remember the good things that we encounter? Is it such a folly of mankind to have such selective memory? Or is it just that we seem to give into the slightest desire that we encounter. Do our cravings define us, to shape our personality as we battle to overcome and to shape the kind of person we are by our likes and dislikes? But for one thing, if it does drive us does that mean that it is a good thing to have?

Random thought: Fake melon flavor with milk taste fake, but oh so good

I love my saw

I swear, my saw's the best investment i made. It cuts so much faster than by hand! Though i have already almost cut of my finger multiple times when the wood jumped.

Yesh i am wearing protective stuff, glasses and mask. It is quite scary when your blade snaps mid cut.

And by far the oddest thing i do while doing all this. I blast phantom of the opera really loud in the upstairs room, while working in it. I mean who listens to phantom which operating machinery. oh oh me me!!!

Random thought: What happens if Raoul was a scumbag? Whirlwind romances don't actually let you know much about the other person

Fakey

Back to the topic of portfolios and projects, some people have commented that the pics i put up look fake. Well they are kinda real, cept that they have been photoshopped like hell and i kinda have a problem of not knowing when to stop. So I'm posting up one of my own raw photos so you can kinda have a comparison.





I'm still wondering if i should tweak it a bit, like just to show that I' not a noob at photoshop. But does that tweaking extend to the composition? or just the color and contrast.

On a side note, is it possible for a person to truly not be themselves? Even if the person is acting or putting on a facade, there will still be quirks or intricacies that will be unique to the person. Granted that the personality on the whole will be fake, but would not the way that fake-ness is portrayed be of the person himself?

Random thought: I got 11.51 for my 2.4!!!

Et Tu Brutus?

The only thing i could thing of while cutting these.




I have finally started construction of my props for cosfest 08! By Gawds I'm slow. My room is slowly regaining its clutter and its fine coating of sawdust. For like more updates on the props please go my livejournal, http://etherical.livejournal.com/ . The layout kinda sucks but i don't know how to change that yet so bear with it. OH AND ADD ME IF U HAVE A LIVEJOURNAL ACCOUNT!

Random Thought: Is sawdust hazardous? Does it get stuck in your lungs?

Cocoon

Society is based on social relationships and it is these relationships that make life so complicated. Every person is different and every person compensates for someone else. In life, people often have different groups of friends, each with different interest. The person then alters his own "image" so as to suit the group. As we progress in life the alterations increase and this causes a strain in maintaining a personality as well as social web of connection.

As one progresses. These crystalline webs increase and hopefully the bond grows stronger. However, sometimes the differences between you and the group are too great. Be it habits, upbringing or simply distance. And sometime you cannot bear the tension and your whole crystalline system decides to come crashing down.

In trying to fit in you try to shape yourself and alter that single thread not knowing the strain it puts on the entire social system with in yourself. Once in a while the whole crystal system breaks and the suddenly your not sure who you really are anymore and if its right to fit yourself into the mold of the group.

Random thought: To which pipers' tunes do you dance to

Reasons

These are the reasons why you don't see me around.
These are the reason why sometimes i cant hang out.
These are the reason I'm slowly dieing, both physically and mentally.
So please comment and tell me which is better. I need to do these for portfolio. Please bear in mind better also means does not look fake

Empress disassemble 1



Empress disassemble 2



My prop pictures will slowly be coming up this way. So I'll be needing comments for a few more times when I'm done.

Random thought: Why do things always seems more perfect when someone else does it

Social Conduit

Fun-O-Rama was on the 29th of March, and I went back to ACJC to meet up with my class people. It was really nice to see everyone again, even though parts of me were battling the flight reactions to going. Going proved to not too bad, with the expected awkward conversations and meetings not going as disastrous as imagined. The games however seemed to disappoint, with none in particular grabbing my attention.

But one must wonder what are the social reasons for these events. Giant meeting places for awareness and recollection? Possibly to reminisce about your times or to see what you missed out on. Either way it seems to be a social "dance" where people seem to waltzing to an unknown tune. Each person tiptoeing around in hopes to find the common tune of life but yet never knowing if they are truly part of the choreography. So would it be a better idea to just dance to your own tune and see if people follow you from there.

Random thought: I liked our year's shirt better

Obsession

Recently in life tendrils of obsession has bee creeping into my life. It serves as a double edged sword, giving me a vice to live by as well as a purpose and identity. Strangely enough it is these obsessions that seem to shape who we are, and out stands in life.

Obsession creates hype. In this era of the internet, obsession causes interest to explode. Advertising and anticipation no longer occurs in the mass media. Rather is occurs in the forums as people discuss the happenings in things happening in real life, or that portrayed on television. This constant discussion gives people a place to belong in the phenomena that is happening and creates the hype that drives them and increase expectations. So the question is, does obsession compel people to like something, or does it just build them up for the fall

Currently obsessed with:
Gundam 00 Carameldansen



Random thought: If Angeal and Genesis didnt leave would Sephiroth still have tried to destroy the world? Maybe he just needed a friend

Love

Love is when your willing to gouge out a part of your heart so that the person can always be with you. To forever remember the person and the feelings you felt for them. Love is being willing to live with that hole in your heart, even when the person is gone.

Random thought: The best books are the ones you can't bear to put down

Feeding off the Frenzy

Recently i been buying anime merchandise a bit too freely. Like suddenly i bought a gundam kit, a bleach figurine box, and a gundam 00 figurine box and a bleach substitute shinigami plate. Some thing inside me seems to feel happy when i buy these things, sort of like my retail therapy. Of course most of these are driven by my desire to convert these things, like this. It is to become my new belt buckle, hopefully when i have time to convert it.

But the thing is, everywhere you go, there seems to be companies capitalizing on people's obsessions and likes. From books to movies, movies to merchandise, ideas and designs are being taken and overused till they become too common place and it loses its appeal, degrading the original idea. After a while it just becomes sad. But its common place for this to occur. Lives are driven by profit so companies mass produce them to earn the dollar by the masses. And consumers only buy with the hype or when the prices are low. Companies even create cheap items to placate this feeding ignoring quality, thus flooding the markets with legal "cheap imitations". And we the consumer gobble it up. When does it actually end and when do we remember the actual idea of it all.

Home

Boy Melbourne was hot, it was worse than Singapore with more like a dry heat. Could literally feel the sun drying out your skin. The trip was nice and the experience was really different. The whole lifestyle there is so much more relaxed and everyone was so much more friendly. Especially my brother's friends from planetshakers church. They really made me feel super welcomed over there and like it was really cool cause they were like super close and were at each other's place like every night. Makes me kinda jealous... why aint my life like that. Part of me came up with possibly i lack a sort of self identity, like not stable enough in my personality and such.

Speaking of self identity, going over to Melbourne made me realize how important culture. When i was over there is was like i wasn't really Singaporean-ish and like it made me realize the lack of knowledge i have about Singaporean like culture, not the ancient one but more of like now-a-days. Like how did that happen? Did part of me get trampled in the wave of cultural propagation in the media? And what happens now? If u strive to be more Singaporean, doesn't that defeat the purpose of it.

Currently listening to: Ash like snow (Gundam 00 OP2)
Random Thought: Cinnamon is now my favorite ice cream flavour

In Melbourne

In Melbourne
It swings from cold to hot, the cold is really nice
RMIT is like super scattered around
Food here is like expensive T.T but some is really good
I got to see Andrea! WHEE damn nice to see her again la
Anime stuff here sucks, theres like barely any at all
My mum's acting possessive, and crazy
I'm feeding off my brothers space and bandwidth, nuff said

Random thought: Both Singapore and Melbourne have good points

Quantum

Somewhere in life, i just kinda started to quantize my life into portions. Its kinda weird but i started to see my life in little blocks of time then i had allocated to do things. This because even more apparent when i went into army especially after time seemed to stretch and the days seemed to have more time in them. Its gotten so separated that night events don't seem to have much effect on what happens in my day anymore, like today. Tonight I'm flying off to Melbourne to do my Uni stuff, visit my brother and visit Andrea, but like there not the crazy anticipation that i used to have when i was a kid.
After a while i kinda wonder if this is sort of helping me to become more efficient, like being able to maximizes my time or is it making me dead to more things as I start to sterilizes parts of my life from each other. Even more scarily, is it making me act differently around different people, sort of like segregated personalities as well?
Quantum: The smallest amount of a physical quantity that can exist independently & amount of energy regarded as a unit

Random thought: Time as a form of energy?
In "Full Metal Alchemist", souls are equivalently energy, and so once separated from physical form, is it not the time it spend developing that should be what gives it its energy

Insanity

The world is based on insanity. Every part of life is just one crazy lurch to the next part, much like walking*. Out of all things love is potentially the most insane. As it is, it is the one thing that manages to compel people to do things that they won't normally do, and has the ability to influence people's lives the most. Much things done for a person or even relationships are based on attraction, be it physical or otherwise. And sometime even though there are motives, it leads to something better. But this insanity is what actually makes life worth living. The journey is always more interesting than the story, often with the story being simplified to exclude the crazy parts of life. So something one should just see love for what it is, a Dali roller coaster that helps us to understand life. (Inspired by "Leap Years" movie)
*walking is merely a controlled sequence of falls

Random though: Appreciate the journey and just forget the happy ending

Reasons

Ok, one more shot at this. This is actually my third blog that I've done, the first 2 failed horribly T.T... So anyway, the purpose of this blog is to kinda be my online portfolio and my place for musing. Lets hope i have the drive and work to keep this one up and running this time. Post comments if u like, it'll let me know I'm not writing to a void. Stay tuned for portfolio coming up, after i finish photoshopping them.

Random thought: Why is it when your nowhere near a computer u can think of so many things to blog about.